


Guess this is all we know

by Sailorconstellation



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Comfort, Comfort/Angst, Cute, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotions, Light-Hearted, Other, calm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 16:36:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8168674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sailorconstellation/pseuds/Sailorconstellation
Summary: Lapis and Steven confront life during a summer time night. ONE SHOT





	

The moon shone high above the sky, shadows outlining it. The grass swayed in the breeze, a chill going through the air. Upon a quiet hill away from a beach, a gem with hair as beautiful as the night sky stood upon a water tank. Her dress swayed in the breeze, her wings free flowing behind her. “Thanks for coming up to the barn Steven.”

“No problem,” chirped Steven, looking up to the stars. His shoulders were hunched over as he scanned the constellations. Wondering where homeworld was and what his mother did. Jesus, what did she do, “it’s a lot quieter here than in Beach City.”

“I can imagine…” Lapis knew from the appearance of the bubble in the living room by Peridot that things had happened. She wasn’t willing to ask. Understanding how words can break your throat trying to speak about them she continued looking over at the lights in the distance.

“So yeah, how have you and Peridot been going?” He looked over at her.

She glanced at him, “we’ve been good. She’s helped out a lot, watched through Camp Pining Hearts together. Been pretty alright. How have you been Steven?”

“Me?” he leaned away, deciding to rest against the water tank. Uncertain about how to answer. “Well you know the usual, Pearl found a mysterious woman. That was an experience, ha ha. I almost died!” He trailed off his voice raising in pitch in nervousness.

Lapis looked at him confused, “mysterious woman?”

“She looked like mom…” silence filled the air.

Only the sound of rustling trees could be heard as they stood in silence. Lapis knew of Rose Quartz, the stories that surrounded that gem made her seem like a diamond. The influence. The pearl at her side throughout it all; the sharp strikes of swords against weapons. She glared at the usra major constellation in the sky. Connecting the dots with her eyes as she recalled the presence of a gem.

“Pearl got her phone number! I hear them chatting over the phone all the time...” Steven tried to sew the silver lining around his words but the jabs of pain hallowed out his stomach.

“That’s nice,” with a breath of air into the night Lapis sat down beside Steven. Looking at the usual sunshine of a kid have rainclouds in his head. “Steven you don’t have to be fine with this for Pearl’s sake.”

“But its been ages since Pearl has been so happy,” he looked up at the sky. Breathing deeply in an attempt to control his emotions. “She tried eating doughnuts because of her. Pearl couldn’t keep a straight face the whole time, kept scrunching her face up! Ha,” he laughed emptily.

“Its because she’s like Rose Quartz,” Lapis curled up in a ball. Wrapping her arms around her legs, her hair dripping over her face like paint.

Steven rolled over, “I know. But I’d rather her be called Rose Quartz then me.”

The realization of Steven’s words settled on Lapis’s shoulders like the ocean. Layers upon layers of implication stacked upon her head. Thoughts swam around her like fish, her eyes widened. She opened up, looking at the red-shirted boy. She could only see his back, how it tried to hide from the world the same way she did not so long ago. “Steven,” the word came out without a though. She could almost see the rose-coloured handcuffs on him. There was nothing she could say, “I heard you and Amethyst fused.”

“Yeah we helped take down Jasper,” he sat up his spirits lifting slightly. “We used a yoyo-“

“What’s a yoyo?”

“Umm its like a circle with string that can be spun around, its pretty fun, I’ll see if I can show you guys one next time I come up!” He tried making yoyo gestures with his hands. “We did a number on her before-“he looked to the side again, unwilling to make eye contact.

Lapis leaned forward, couldn’t help but feel interested in what happened to Jasper. Did she crack? Did she heal? As Steven closed up again she realized she had enough idea. So that sort of thing, she looked up at the galaxy above. The gentle crashing of waves hummed in the background. Bugs sang through the still air while bats occasionally flew nearby to reach the forest. Their shadows contrasting the sky that glistened.

Lapis gritted her teeth, her face softening. “I wish I could help you Steven, the same way you helped Peri, helped Earth… helped me. I can’t solve anything but if you are willing to talk, then I will listen. The same way you did so long ago.” She turned her head to face Steven to see tears streaming down his face. The idea of crying seemed to choke him, hot tears trailing between coughs. His eyes were forced shut as if he was fighting himself.

He had fought himself for so long, being Stevonnie he could ignore it momentarily. With Connie he pushed it aside but as Lapis looked at him, with gentle snowy eyes. His muscles relaxed as he gave in to himself, “I didn’t want to do it Lapis! **I tried so hard not to! They gave me no other choice** ” he coughed. His voice rough with broken emotions.

“Who?” Lapis spoke as softly as possible.

He looked at Lapis with emotions like a shattered wine glass. His face was a mess of tears, his eyes were red as he looked at her. With a second wind he tucked his face into his arms. His voice shaky as he attempted to breath deeply to speak. Fighting his every muscle, “they all called me Rose Quartz, all of them. I tried to tell them that I wasn’t but, they wouldn’t listen.”

The memories flashed through his head. The humidity of the forge with the swing of Rose’s sword in his hands, the knife that glinted in the pink bubble that kept him safe while they floated through the galaxy or the blue patches that crawled up Jaspers arm. The deep fury in their eyes as each gem moved towards him, Steven felt himself shake. His breathing stopped as the butterflies flew around his head. “What did mom do?” He knew what but he couldn’t help but ask himself every day.

“Didn’t they ever tell you?” Lapis furrowed her brow. The wind flowing hair into her face. Steven shrugged, unwilling to answer.

He never really asked because it was how he was raised. The gems just did things, he asked why a few times but it all got wiped off as ‘doing their job’ or ‘something’. His dad never knew despite Rose so because of how is dad was he simply grew up to act the same. “No. I never questioned it,” his tears were silent. He felt them drop onto his shorts in little drops. There was a comfortable silence between them. An understanding that covered deeper worries. “Garnet recently taught me a song-“ 

“A song?”

“Yeah,” he felt his confidence waver, “a song about what to do whenever this,” he gestured at himself, “happens.”

“How’s it go?” she looked towards the sky. Making sure not to give the kid any pressure at all. There was a comfortable silence as he took several long deep breaths. Then he began to sing. His voice began shaky, trying to find air. It sounded like a broken mirror as he walked through the first few lines. Then it slowly began to smooth out, his voice finding the honesty and lightness that makes his voice so nice. It swam through the air. Soothing every muscle in their bodies as they breathed in the air. As the time passed they couldn’t help but smile slightly. 

Lapis had the lightest of smiles, “that sounded wonderful Steven.” 

“Thanks,” in the sort of comfort only understanding can create they sat there. Letting the hours pass over them as they slowly began to point at stars. Making comments about how one constellation looked like a fusion. How the sky seemed to speak in watercolours. And how, at least in that moment, it was okay for them. The world was tranquil.


End file.
